Strictly for the Ladies #2: Above All Else, Pray

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So, you’ve got yourself together.  You’ve prayed over your issues and you confronted the pain that you carry inside.  You have decided to not make the same mistakes that you have in the past and you've made a conscious decision to take your time and wait for the right person to come along.  Your pain may not have fully subsided but, you can feel your heart starting to heal. What’s the next step? What should you do to further prepare yourself for the love that is meant for you?  The answer is simple.  Pray.

Many of you already have a prayer life. You seek God for every decision and aren’t afraid to go to Him when you are in need or to intercede on behalf of someone else. In a previous blog post, I’ve addressed the fact that, as women, we need to pray and seek God before entering into a relationship with a man.  It is the only way that we will know if this is the person He has chosen, or the person that we are choosing for ourselves.  Often times, we chose someone; love them, marry them and have children from them and, it doesn’t work out. Know why, because that person was not our God-given person, it was the person that we chose for ourselves.  When He gives you the one who should hold your heart, loving them will be easy.  It will be like taking a breath; effortless, natural and pain-free.  Love shouldn’t hurt or cause you continuous distress, especially if you are aligned with the word of God and keeping his commands (ex. Being faithful, committed, and loving your spouse as the Bible tells you too in Ephesians).  Until you get there, and until this person comes into your life, you should fervently pray for God to not only allow the person that was meant for you to come into your life but, ask Him to open your eyes, your mind, and your heart to receive that person, no matter what package they may come in.

Sometimes, the man of your dreams won’t come in a neat little package.  He may not look the way that you expect and, that is why, you must seek guidance from the Most High in order to make sure that you do not miss your blessing.  As people, we can be very judgmental and closed-minded.  For example, when I met my husband, I absolutely was not looking for anyone.  I was in a funk and still trying to heal from the pain of a previous relationship.  I didn’t even want a man to look at me.  I wasn’t bitter but, I certainly didn’t want anything serious and, I was taking the time to heal myself before being with anyone else.  I would see him when I worked my second job; sitting by himself, reading the Bible to the inmates in the lock-down unit or standing with me as I passed out medications.  I didn’t make small talk or even address him with more than a ‘how are you’ but, what I did do is be the person I am and treated every inmate with respect regardless of the fact that they were incarcerated.  To me, they were still people and deserved respect.  Then one day, there he was, inside the medical unit playing cards with a female deputy (who had a crush on him so big it covered half of the Western hemisphere) and he was losing badly.  Sarcastically I said, you need help, and proceeded to tell him which cards to play in order to win.  After his victory, he smile up at me and said, ‘Would you like to go to breakfast with me sometime?’ Now, remember I said sometimes the person you want doesn’t come in the package you want. Well, I looked him over; he was cute but very skinny, and further more, he looked to be all of 18 and he wasn’t the animated type I have always been drawn too.  He was a little too quiet.  My head was telling me, ‘Hell no, you just got rid of one whack job, do you really want to open yourself up to this? Look at him, he’s 12. He’s too young to deal with a woman with a child and responsibilities.’  My heart was saying, ‘Oh no, not again. I haven’t healed yet and here she is trying to cause me more pain.’ Then, my spirit said, ‘Take it slow. This may turn out better than you think.’  My mouth asked, “Are you asking me out?”  “Yeah, I am,” he said with confidence.  That Monday, we went out to breakfast but, not before I texted his picture, license plate number and a full disclosure of his name and where he worked to three of my family members. (Hey, people are crazy. I wasn’t taking any chances). The rest, is history.  He courted me like a man should; meeting me at the hospital just to talk to me on my breaks before he went to work, took me to dinners, movies, and once he finally met my son, he embraced him as well.  He never once pressured me or rushed.  We were friends before ever becoming lovers. I continued to have my doubts but, he never once let me down and eleven years later, here we are.

Before meeting Gary, I prayed for discernment.  True discernment that would allow me to know and listen to the voice of God when I heard it.  I no longer wanted to make the choice for myself.  I understood that I needed God to show me the way because the decisions that I have made regarding love in the past ended in utter disaster and caused wrecked my heart and my life.  So ladies, your homework for this week is to pray.  Pray, pray again and then pray some more and continue live your life on the right path.  Don’t allow loneliness to possess you and cause you to make a rushed decision that you will regret later.  Consult God first and, if you are struggling, ask Him to help you.  Be patient. The person that is meant for you may not come over night.  It may take time, even longer than you may want, but continue to work on your issues and better yourself so when the person that God has designed for you comes along, you will be ready.  Ask God to prepare your heart to receive true love and to not allow old issues like jealousy, mistrust, infidelity, and sometimes the expectation of mistreatment to cause you to drive that person away (that’s an entirely different post for another day), and to prevent your children from being hurt and seeing you hurt again.  Continue working on yourself, and I will continue to pray for you as you continue to pray that God gives me the wisdom I desire and the message to bring you each week.  Do your homework and pray without ceasing.