Strictly for the Ladies #4: Mama

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Just to recap, we’ve covered evaluating yourself, praying, and making sure that a man matches up to the things he proclaims to be.  The next topic in finding your ideal mate is, examining his relationship with his mother.  Just as fathers are an important part of shaping a person, mothers often have even more of an impact.  In this day and age, many of our men are lacking in the area of manhood and knowing how to treat a woman. Why? Because they were reared in an environment lacking of male influence.

A man’s relationship, thoughts towards, and feelings for his mother are a key ingredient in your relationship.  Does he adore her? Does he despise her? Has he never met her? Does he still consult her when making major decisions in his life? Does he seek her approval in everything that he does?  Addressing each of these separately, will allow you to understand my thinking and reasoning behind this.

Does he adore her? A man who holds his mother in high regard, has lots of respect for her, and has had the privilege of being raised in a home where he saw his father treat his mother like a queen should know how to treat you.  He will have a better understanding of his role and position as a man and act accordingly. If he and his mother have a great relationship and he’s had an example of what a successful marriage should be, he will do his best to have that same relationship with you.  Children mimic what they see.

Does he despise her?  If a man has issue with his mother.  If he doesn’t like her and has some resentment towards her for things like keeping him away from his father or any other number of ills then, when you get into a relationship and something goes wrong, all of those feelings he has for his mother will be projected onto you.  Why? Because the first woman that he established a relationship with and, since his relationship with her wasn’t the best, he will unconsciously see you in the same light.  He will compare you to her often but, especially when times are hard or things are not going well between the two of you.  If you choose to stay with him, you will forever have to make him believe that you’re different than his mother.

Or, he could be the quintessential mama’s boy.  He consults her for everything, seeks your approval, and keeps her deep in your business. When dealing with a mama’s boy, you will continuously be compared to her and everything from your cooking to the way you fold your sheets will scrutinized.  You will have to deal with her opinion, her knowing your business and, him often accepting what she says over what you want.

I’m not mother bashing him but, what I am saying is, you have to pay attention to the relationship that a man has with his mother because it will surely make a difference in your life.  Just as a girl’s view of her father manifests in her relationships with men, so does a boys relationship with his mother.  So, once again, make sure you have conversations about the important things, learn about his family and his view of relationships before you get too deep.  It could make all the difference in your relationship.